Life is all about change. So why do we resist change when it doesn't suit our needs? Because we're human! I've started exploring our fear of change and our absolute need for it. See if any of the following relates to your own life, and whether change is a thorn in your side or feather in your cap.
 By Felix Burton (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons If you think you can go through life without dealing with change, you are dead wrong. How many times have you bumped into co-workers or friends that resist change like it was the black plague? Sometimes it's a small thing like a new line of software or a new printer at the office. Instead of trying to figure out the new technology and how it can benefit them, they sit behind their desk and moan all day about their stupid boss who picked out the stupid new printer or the stupid printer that obviously can't read minds. Sound familiar? Can you lump yourself in that group? Who wants to be around people like that?
Depending on your life situation, you may or may not have a lot of control of the change that happens in your life. If you don't have a lot of control over it, start preparing for it. I'll give you an example. I grew up in a Navy family. Growing up in the military means constant change and upheaval. As a kid that meant moving at least every two years, meeting new friends, acclimating to new towns and settling into new schools. I won't lie and say it was easy. It wasn't. But my parents did their best to help us prepare for the change.
First, we knew that the moves were inevitable. Just like change in your life, I knew that I'd be pulling up stakes and moving to a new town in two years. It was already in my mind, so subconsciously I could always be prepared. It's like a fighter getting ready for his next battle. You have to have that mental edge by being prepared.
Second, my parents (especially my mother) always focused on the positive aspects of upcoming moves. For example, if we were being stationed in California, we'd start talking about going to Disneyland or the beach. It got our minds refocused on something positive instead of mourning the loss of our current lifestyle.
Last but not least, we knew we were all in it together. I'm the oldest of four boys and I'm proud to say that my brothers are my best friends. We forged our brotherhood through countless moves and unending change. We stuck together when times were tough. We enjoyed the fun times and learned to grow together. We knew we'd be OK even it was just us.
So what does all this have to do with you?
1. Understand that change is inevitable. Sometimes it's big change, sometimes it's something tiny. Get it set in your head that no matter what, something will always change. Understand that the universe is constantly throwing obstacles and challenges in your way. It's how you deal with those challenges that shows your true worth.
2. Focus on the positive. When you get thrust into a less-than-optimal situation, train your brain to immediately think about how this new change can improve your life. It might be that the new printer your boss just bought can save you endless running back and forth every day. You won't know until you dig in. It could be that your job is being relocated or that your business is going under. If you're being relocated, start researching the cool new hangouts and stuff to do in and around your new town. If your business is going under, sit down and make a list of the lessons you've learned. Now write down all the things you'll be free to do without a lagging business holding you back. Again, focus on the positive.
3. Don't go it alone. I was lucky enough to have brothers along for the ride. You might have family or friends that can help you deal with your new life change. If it's at work, have a co-worker that you trust that can help you focus on the positive aspects of new developments. Don't get sucked into the complaining crowd that sits outside, smoking and bitching. Surround yourself with people that want to attack life just like you do. Get rid of the dead weight. Don't get sucked in by the complainers and the naysayers. Trust is a key element to this part of the process. Step up and be the leader. Once you recognize your own light you'll be surprised how many people may follow your lead.
Life is all about change. Prepare yourself for it, but don't dwell on it. Look at life like a painted canvas that you're continually adding to. Sometimes the colors are drab when times get tough, but then we choose to add some light or neon to the mix. When it's finally your time to turn in your assignment, how beautiful will your life's canvas be?
Today we're going to focus on your relationship with your work. Is it a good one? Is it a bad one? Where do you stack up?
 So we've already focused on you and your time. Let's shift a bit and take a look at how your perceive your work. I'll say again, it's imperative that you take a completely honest approach to evaluating where you stand.
Don't worry, no one's watching :)
Don't forget that it might be easier to print out this post and use a pen or pencil to make any notes you need.
Rate the following items on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being that you disagree, 10 being that you totally agree)
1. I enjoy what I do for a living 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
2. I like it when Monday rolls around 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
3. I am passionate about my work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
4. I have a flexible work schedule 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
5. I feel challenged at work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
6. I like my co-workers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
7. I have room for growth and advancement 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
8. I never worry about work after I get home 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
9. I feel like I am part of something at work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
10. My work is not a major source of stress in my life 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Now add up your scores and enter the total here: _________
Compare your total score to the following scale:
(1-25) Work is obviously not your favorite thing. You may have constant doubts about where you stand and why you're doing what you're doing. Work is stressing you out. Your co-workers may be dragging you down. Is it time to make a change?
(26-50) Work may not be completely horrible for you, but, given the choice, it's not where you'd choose to spend your time. Do you find yourself looking for a greener pasture? You may no longer be as challenged as you once were, or as much as you thought you'd be. What went wrong?
(51-75) You've definitely chosen a field that can both challenge and excite you. You probably work with people you like and trust. Is there still room for improvement? What's missing?
(76-100) You're at the top of the heap. If you answered honestly, your work does not run your life. You have good balance between your personal and professional lives. You're following your passion and reaping the benefits. Congratulations on getting so far! Are you ready to go farther?
Take a look at each item you graded. Are there any patterns? Do your frustrations tend to revolve around time? Around co-workers? Around stress? Start thinking about what needs to change. Maybe it's as simple as having a conversation with your boss. It could be as drastic as a move to a new profession. What's missing???
Just wanted to send out a quick note and let you all know that after months of prep, eNewsHQ is now LIVE.
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DAY 2: TIME ASSESSMENT
In today's exercise, you're going to delve into how you spend your time. It's essential to figure out where you might be wasting time, and where you want/need to spend your time.
 I really want you to think hard on this one. Where Day 1 was broad, today's exercise is more specific. As I mentioned in Day 1, this isn't about finding solutions...yet. First we need to find the problem, then we'll work on fixing it. Answer the following questions as honestly as you can. Again, feel free to print out this post and use a pen or pencil to grade yourself. Here we go. Rate the following on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being that you disagree, 10 being that you totally agree) - I am a good manager of my time 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I spend as much time as I want with family/friends 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I have plenty of time to accomplish my tasks weekly 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I effectively use some kind of scheduling system 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am always on-time 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I rarely have to rush 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am usually pretty relaxed 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I never forget about appointments 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I schedule personal time each week 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
10. I prioritize my tasks 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Now total up your scores and enter the total here: _________Compare your total score to the following scale:(1-25) Yowza! You are brutally honest. That's awesome. You've got a lot to work on. Are you ready to learn how to utilize your time more effectively? (26-50) You're livin' on the edge. Time is slipping away from you. You may occasionally miss meetings and find yourself running behind. Ready to improve your track record?(51-75) You're smack dab in the middle. You have the potential to be really efficient, but sometimes you slip into habits of poor time management. Ready to make it into the top tier? (76-100) Wow! Congratulations on setting priorities and taking the initiative to truly manage your time. You are in control of your days. You don't let time run away from you. As we talked about in Day 1, you'll soon be getting tips on how to improve your time management skills. Until then, analyze your daily routine. Find where you might be wasting time. Figure out what takes priority in your life. A better system in coming.
Here's a class I did for SOS University on the pitfalls of letting your cell phone run your life. Also includes a couple tips on how to cut that umbilical cord.
Ever had one of those days? You know, a day where you're struggling to maintain your sanity and happiness? I can't really help with your sanity, but I can help you with your happiness.
 Starting today, I'll be presenting a new series: "28 Days to a Happier, More Productive You"I know what you're thinking, "You can't fix me in 28 days!" Don't be so sure :) Besides, it's not me who'll be fixing you. You'll be fixing you. Each "Day" will be a new exercise. A practical look into your life and how you're living it. I recommend you print each blog post and do the exercise with a pen or pencil. Then compile your notes as you move on to the following exercises. We'll start by assessing where you're at. Let's figure out where you're lacking and where you're excelling. It might be that your personal life rocks and your professional life stinks. It could be the other way around. It could be that your life is gravy. You won't know until you start digging. So who is this series for? Everyone! Whether you're a seasoned pro or a complete newbie. You could be a top sales professional or a small business owner. It doesn't matter where you're from or who you know. The lessons we'll be talking about will apply to you. Now I have to warn you. You may find out things about yourself that you don't like. That's OK! Let's work on fixing those things. On the flip-side, I'll bet you'll find exceptional qualities you never knew you had. I'm excited for you! Are you ready? Without further ado, here's Day 1 of "28 Days to Happier, More Productive You" DAY 1: Self AssessmentSo the first thing you need to do is figure out whether you need to improve. In order to get a baseline, rank the following statements on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 that you don't agree, 10 that you strongly agree). Feel free to print this post and keep it on file. - I need more time for myself 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I need more time with my family/friends 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I need to spend less time at work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am not productive with my time 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I want to improve my quality of life 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I want to make more money 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am concerned about my health 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am stressed out 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
- I am not happy professionally 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
10. I want to make a change 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Now add up all your scores and write the total here: _______Compare your total score to the following grading system- (1 - 25) Your life is pretty great. Congrats! Did you recognize areas you could improve in? No one is perfect, but let's push for perfection.
- (26 - 50) There are definitely areas you need to work on. Are you getting a better ideas where? You're in the middle of the pack. Are you ready to be at the top?
- (51 - 75) You're only a couple steps away from losing control. Work may be taking over your personal life. Family issues may be affecting your work. Let's start working now.
- (76 - 100) You are in need of some major change. You've probably lost complete control of your time and you might find your energy and motivation are lagging. Are you ready to make some big changes?
Now that you have a better idea of where you stand, start thinking of ways you can change. In the coming days and weeks we'll be talking about specific things you can implement that will improve your quality of life. But don't wait! Start thinking of ideas on your own. Show your spouse or one of your trusted friends how you scored yourself. Ask them for help. The journey's only just begun. Stay tuned for DAY 2 coming soon.Here's to your success!Get more information on my Individual Coaching Plan
Well, it's 2012. Holy cow! What happened to 2011? I don't know about you but last year flew by. I learned a lot, grew a lot, and explored a lot. Did you?
 So I'm always talking about following your passion. I finally took my own advice. Next month I'm publishing my first novel (check it out HERE) ! Take a look at the book cover on the left. I think it's pretty sweet. So in my journey to follow my passion of becoming an author I learned some things. I thought I'd share them with you so you can start off the New Year in the right way. So here we go:Push past the fear: I started writing my novel on a trip to DisneyWorld. Why? I don't know. The inspiration just hit me. Maybe it was ambiance of Disney Magic or the giant turkey leg I ate while riding Pirates of the Caribbean. I was well on my way when all of a sudden...fear set in. Fear of the unknown (how was I going to finish?). Fear of failure (how the heck was I going to get it published). Fear of rejection (would anyone like my book?). Those fears threatened to derail my quest. So what did I do? In true Marine fashion I pushed through. Whenever fear started creeping in, I pushed it back. You need to do the same. Kick that fear and doubt out of your head. It will only hold you back. Toughen yourself mentally for the hurdles ahead and always maintain sight of the end goal. Figure it out: I'd had a little exposure into the publishing world but not much. So one of the doubts that began to creep in on me was "how the heck am I going to get published?" As I tend to do, I took to the internet. You can find fantastic resources for pretty much anything. In no time I was back on track with a solid plan for getting my book published; all because I took a little time to just figure it out and ask a couple questions. So if you're scared about how to fulfill your passion, jump on your computer and type in any question in one of the many search engines. Try "how do I start a baking company" or "how do I get published." You'll get a lot of hits. Dig through and see what you can find. Oh, and don't forget to take notes and bookmark your favorites. Ignore the naysayers: I don't know if you've heard about it, but there's this underground battle going on between traditional publishers (think the guys in expensive NYC office towers) and the new publishing platforms like Amazon. Well, the old breed wants to maintain as much control as they can while Amazon wants to take care of everyone including the independents (that's me). After reading a lot of blogs and comments I found a common thread among the supposed "real literati." You know, the people that think John Grisham stinks and that only high-brow literature like Jane Austen (nothing against Jane. Pride and Prejudice is one of my faves) should ever be considered for publishing. Well guess what? Those people don't represent the vast majority of readers around the world and yet we look to them to tell us what we should and should not publish. I actually felt myself being pulled in by their condescension and had to do a quick about face and run for the hills once I realized they were trying to crush my dream. You'll run into the same thing. Family that say going into business for yourself is crazy. Professionals of any industry that say you'll never carve out a niche in their business. Don't listen to them!!! As long as you've done the prep needed and really done soul-searching about whether you have the ability to take your passion to the next level... IGNORE THE NAYSAYERS! So in a nutshell, let 2012 be the year of Your Passion. Do your homework and start down that path. Put on blinders when you need to but surround yourself with people that will give you constructive feedback but always push you in the right direction. Now get out there and take some action!
Here's a great example of a guy who's been in the midst of one of the hardest hit industries (residential lending) in the latest American recession and has not only survived...he's thrived! How does he do it? He takes care of his clients and prospects! Holy Cow! Is that possible? Yep. So without further ado may I present a very good friend to both Tito & Budacheli: Shawn Kaplan of Kaplan Mortgage Partners. Enjoy and listen to everything this amazing guy has to say! Love,Tito & Budacheli
Guess what? I'll bet your English teacher lied to you. "What?! Not Mrs. Anderson! She was amazing and made the best cupcakes at Christmas. How could you say that about her, Carlos?!" I'm not talking about how nice she was. But, did she teach you how to be a better communicator?
 We've probably all had similar experiences in grade school and beyond. You know, the lessons on proper grammar, how to write a letter, etc...
I think a lot of that instruction comes back to bite us in the ass a bit. Why? Because we've essentially been taught how to communicate like a robot (see picture on left).
Is that how you talk to your friends? Is that how you interact with business acquaintances at a networking event? Probably not. If you do talk like a robot, you may need professional medical attention (no offense to all you real robots out there).
So how do we blend the two worlds of personal and professional? How do we sound more personable over email? Try these seven steps and be a better communicator in your business dealings.
1) Find your voice: I am not suggesting you learn how to sing. I'm saying that you need to figure out who you are. How do you interact with friends? How do you interact in a professional setting? Is it possible to blend the two? You need to find your voice. Who are you? What do you stand for? Do you sound like a robot? You are absolutely unique. Don't try to sound like someone else. Most people can sense "the fake" a mile away. You know, the guy or gal with the cheesy smile and unnaturally high voice? Is that really you?
2) Analyze your style: Go back through some recent emails. Read your writing. Is it personable or robotic. Does it sound like a line from Jane Austen or like a line from an Eminem album? Are you properly blending your personality with your professional responsibilities? Are you showing others that you ARE approachable? Be honest and don't cheat on this one.
3) Ask others: Ask some of your business friends to analyze your email conversations. Tell them you want a truly honest opinion. No sugar-coating people! You may be surprised what they tell you: "Dude, you sound like my boss when you email me about business." "Girl, you need to lay off the caffeine."
4) Read what others write: Go back to your email account again. Read some of past correspondence with other business contacts. Who sounds real? Who sounds like a robot? Who can you try to emulate and improve your own communications? Who is a true example of how to be a better communicator?
5) Practice: Ok. Now it's time to try out your new gift for gab. Respond to a couple emails. Try to sound professional yet personal. Instead of "It was a distinct honor and privilege to have met your acquaintance upon yon window sill," try saying, "It was great chatting yesterday. Can't wait to see you at the next water cooler gossip session." It's in no way over the top. It's just personable enough. Practice. Practice. Practice.
6) Re-Analyze your style: After a few day of perfecting your craft, go back through your sent emails and do an honest assessment of where you stand. Are you making progress? Would YOU want YOU to email YOU? Does it sound like you're trying to make a friend or close a deal? (Hint: it's always good to try to make more friends even in business) Do you still feel like you can be a better communicator?
7) Do it over and over again: This stuff takes practice. Exorcising the robot demons isn't always easy. We all fall into the trap of "Well, it's just an email to a client. I'll just stick with the facts and forget the personal touch." I know it's easy to do. Just try NOT to do it. Have a conversation over email. I'll say that again: "Have a CONVERSATION over email."
You ever wonder how some of those uber-successful people are capitalizing on their mastermind group? This post will show you how. It all starts with attitude.
 Attitude: What do I mean by attitude? Am I saying you need to walk around with a chip on your shoulder, shunning the little people. NO WAY! If I were in a mastermind group with someone like that, they'd be out quick. By attitude I mean that you need to have a giving personality. You should see your time at the meeting (and away from your meetings) as a chance to help others. Take the focus off yourself and re-focus on the other members. I actually find that when I'm more focused on the other people in my group, I not only get to help them, I also learn more! So have the attitude that you will give BEFORE you receive.
Courage: The lion is the king of the jungle, right? How many lions do you know that DON'T have courage? Uhhhh... I've only had the privilege of knowing a couple lions in my lifetime but I would never call any one of them cowards. So how can you use courage to reap the rewards of mastermind stardom? Have the courage to be open with your fellow members. You won't get a thing out of your mastermind group if you don't open up. Worried about divulging too much? That's what non-disclosures are for. A mastermind group is supposed to be a safe place to share all kinds of information. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a conversation about business shift into a focus group on personal development and family. They're all intertwined. If you don't have the courage to share, other won't either and your group will not be effective. Step up and be the leader by sharing your personal experiences (both good and bad) and showing that it's ok to be open.
Look the Part: A king is always decked out like a royal. It's easy to spot a king in a crowd. So how do you look the part and stand-out in your mastermind group? Hold on because this one is really important. I mean seriously, make sure you write this down like ten times. Are you ready? Here's the secret to looking the part of the king of your mastermind group: LISTEN. That's right. I'm not asking you to dress up in medieval garb or even a suit. People see you as a valuable part of the group when you just sit there and listen. Don't be the guy that sits there playing with his cell phone. Don't be the gal that can't take her eyes of her iPad. Instead, listen intently. Make eye contact with whoever is talking. Show them that you are truly interested in what they're saying. Make THEM feel important. I know it sounds funny but when your fellow members see you take an active interest in the others, they'll follow your lead. Oh, and don't be scared to tell your friends that maybe they need to listen a little more too. Nobody's perfect and we all need a reminder sometimes.
So are you ready to be King of your Mastermind Group? Remember that's it's not all about you. If you put the time and effort into being a "royal asset" instead of a "royal pain" you'll soon have mounds and mounds of golden nuggets you can spend on your kingdom.
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